If I can meet my brokenheartedness head-on in this collaboration, then the chances that I will learn something from my woundedness increases. In this sense, my discomfort becomes something I can be collaborative with, not overwhelmed by. When I can notice the space, I can have the room to be in power with my brokenheartedness. This friendliness is an expression of love - and that love is the energy that opens up the space around the discomfort. This friendliness is a warmth and openness that allows the discomfort to be there. Power is so important here because it means that I meet my woundedness, my discomfort, with a kind of friendliness. In my practice, I'm trying to be in power with my brokenheartedness. Whenever I feel this energy I allow it - and it is something that I am encouraging others to do as well. I am learning how to let myself experience my hurt whenever it comes up, even if it means I have to stop everything that I am doing to support this experience through meditation, breathwork, movement, or even shedding tears. Mourning is my attempt to acknowledge brokenheartedness, accept it, and offer it space to be in my experience so it may do its work of teaching me and passing through. Mourning is how I take care of my broken heart because, above all, my broken heart wants to be seen, held, and experienced just like we want to as well by other people. Sometimes I describe heartbrokenness as an expression of deep disappointment that wants to be taken care of. Brokenheartedness is a composite experience that holds other experiences like pain, aching, frustration, loneliness, or even anger. One of the ways I experience my grief is as brokenheartedness. Experiencing my grief is how I began to experience liberation through mourning. When I say mourning, I am speaking to my capacity to notice my grief, and allowing that grief to be in my experience by not judging it or pushing it away, which offers me the space to actually experience this difficult material. However, I am noticing that so much of my freedom and joy is bound up in my capacity to mourn things. I am learning to intentionally mourn in a skillful way. Mourning has become an important practice for me. As I look to the future, I know that I must also take refuge in my mourning. And while anger will be a major epidemic on its own soon, the pain that we have accumulated during the pandemic will be the primary public health concern. Anger arises to tell me that my hurt needs to be cared for. I understand anger to arise out of experiences of being hurt. However, it is as much about grief as it is about anger. To say that the book is about anger is true. I have a new book coming out called Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger. On top of this, I struggle to figure out how to step into a new world which will be socially, economically, and politically unstable. I, like many people, am hurt by the loss of my old life as well as the death of so many people. I have been sitting in my house for two months, lonely and longing to see my friends, family, lovers, and to even go to the grocery store or a walk around my block without fearing contacting Covid-19 and enduring a potentially painful illness and/or death.
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